Baseball is Sofa King Dead


This past Monday, Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees admitted that he had used performance enhancing drugs during the 2001-2003 seasons. For anyone who cares about baseball, this probably means the end of the sport. After it was clear that Ken Griffey Jr, who was injured and traded and traded and injured again wouldn’t beat Hank Aaron’s and now Barry Bonds’ homerun record, the baseball world went all-in with A-Rod [||]. Alex Rodriguez was crowned as baseball’s messiah. Even though it seemed Rodriguez didn’t know that “post-season play” means you’re actually expected to play well, he’s one of the most electrifying sluggers in the league today.  Statistically speaking, if he were to keep up his regular season pace, he’d undoubtedly be crowned the homerun king before he retired.  And best of all, he wouldn’t have an asterisk next to his name unlike Barry Bonds, because he had never used performance enhancing drugs. So it seemed the gamble was destined to pay off.  That is until last Friday when someone leaked information from an internal MLB probe where A-Rod [||] was found to be one of 104 Major League players who tested positive for steroids and human growth hormone.

The first fucked up part of this story is that these drugs were not against MLB rules at the time so cats went buckwild. Rodriguez said he went on the juice to justify his 10-year, $252 million contract.  Heck, everyone else was doing it, so why get left behind in the dust? ‘Specially since the shit was legal no one cared.  Apparently the shit was so crazy that he didn’t even know what drugs he was shooting up. Yesterday, Bud Selig, the commissioner of the MLB spoke of the possibility of suspending A-Rod [||] for admitting his steriod use from’ 01 – ’03. What? Imagine if beer were made illegal in 2010. And in 2012 you were punished for drinking beer in 2007?

The second and most troubling part of this story is the proliferation of snitches and haters in the world. You realize that twice in 2 weeks, a world class athlete was forced to fess up to using illicit substances because some snitch thinks it’s fresh…not because it’s the right thing to do. Phelp’s snitch did it for the money and fame? Rodriguez’s snitch? The information on A-Rod’s juice use were sealed under court order. And since it potentially interferes with Barry Bonds’ perjury hearing, the leakers could be brought up on criminal charges. The most probable suspects are Barry Bond’s lawyer crew, who are using suicidal scorched earth tactics. Fuck the world, fuck Baseball, let’s just Free Barry.

What funny is that after everything the MLB did to clean up its act, it was still prone to the will of haters.
In an effort to clear its good name, the Major League banned the used of steroids and growth hormones and welcomed a a Congressional hearing where a handful of MLB players testified to detail or deny their alleged steroid use. Some told the truth. Some lied and perjured themselves. And one, Mark McGuire actually cried in front of Congress.  You know everything that’s said in front of the Congress becomes a historical artifact. So why the fuck would you want to hold down your place in American history by crying with full bitchery in front of the House and Senate?

Anyway, even before Barry Bonds became the home run king, the baseball world looked forward to the day when a “natural” player would break his record. That player was Alex Rodriguez. As much as the bum can’t help the Yankees win a post season game, they won’t trade him because he fills seats and the closer he gets to Bond’s records, the more seats he’ll fill. Now it all remains to be seen how it all plays out. I don’t see it playing out too well.  Even though he’s been clean for years now, I don’t see him going through his career without being taunted by opposing fans with “Asterisks”. And to make it official, Bud Selig is actually now looking at amending record books with an actual “Performance Enhanced” asterisk! Baseball would need to anoint a future homerun king to take A-Rod’s place, but by the time they find a candidate, it’ll all be too late. For many people, major league baseball may have just crossed the threshold from indifference to irrelevance, and this depression deep economic recession we’re in, won’t make things any easier.

If I were Barack Obama:

“Uh.. look I know that most of you could give a damn about baseball, so I’m proposing a bail-out of sorts for Major League Baseball. Now, I’m not proposing giving taxpayer dollars to the league. People want excitement and to help baseball along, I’m making the use of steroids mandatory. Fans will get to watch as scrawny infielders become huge meatheads. Pitchers will throw fastballs in excesses of 110-120 miles per hour. Batters will use aluminum bats to produce more homeruns. Batters will also have to break wooden bats when they strike out. Fights will not only be encouraged; there will be a two fight minimum per game. If this can’t save baseball, nothing will. Fuck it. Basketball is a better product anyway.”


~ by Chief Racka on February 12, 2009.

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