George W Bush Would Have Made a Great Gangster Rapper

While the “before” part of this clip might hit some of you like you’ve just seen Michael Jackson sipping Ole’ E, sounding like Samuel L. Jackson talking shit, it really shouldn’t surprise anyone who’s checked W’s resume. George W Bush ain’t no slouch and comes from one of the most connected families on the planet:

G-dub’s great-grandfather, Samuel Prescott Bush was a 19th Century Industrialist who made his way into the game through the Rockefellers and served on the board of the Federal Reserve Bank of Cleveland. He also held a government position where he helped out weapons contractors.

G-dub’s grandfather, Prescott Sheldon Bush, was a Yale grad, Skull & Bones member, VP of  a Bank Fund (that financed early Nazi activities), US Senator, and actually thought to be a decent dude. Peep the Ralph Nader documentary “An Unreasonable Man”. He was also chairman of the United Negro College Fund in CT. (though probably not too many negroes in CT back then)

G-dub’s dad, George Herbert Walker Bush, was a Yale grad, Skull & Bones member, Oil Tycoon, Director of the CIA, US House of Rep for Texas, Vice President and President of the United States.

G-dub was born in Connecticut and went to some of the best private schools in the country. He later went to Yale as an undergrad and got an MBA from Harvard’s Business School -no doubt through hookups, but still. Yet despite having that pedigree, and that level of schooling, we were led to believe that this dude couldn’t put two coherent sentences together? Well it’s probably painfully obvious to you right now that he wasn’t that much of an idiot. But the question remains: Why the idiot act? The answer: Street Cred.
GWB needed to be the face and personality that connected to America’s lowest common denominator population… which happened to be America’s largest electoral voting block. And he needed their support throughout his reign. And while W did the connectin’, his dad called called in veterans from his own administration to be W’s handlers and do the pillagin’. They came on the scene looking like Lee Marvin, Ernest Borgnine, Charles Bronson an’ em. Every “misstep” was choreographed to look like the Jackass King was steady fucking up. Again. The truth is that it was all an elaborate heist. He ran interference while they dug in the world’s pockets. So what would make G-dub a great gangster rapper? Besides the fact that his boss vice-president shoots mufuckas in the face?

Think about it.. In 8-Mile, Eminem iced a freestyle combatant with the lines:

And Clarence lives at home with both parents
And Clarence’s parents have a real good marriage

And the crowd went wild. You can’t be gangster while the world knows that you went to Catholic school or you were an Eagle Scout.  What do you think happened to Rampage’s career? And that was just a name! The street cred litmus test makes a difference:

  • 50 cent’s beef with Rick Ross wouldn’t be nearly as funny without Officer Ricky
  • “You was a ballerina … I seen ya” would probably have even murked Nas’ career had it been him and not Prodigy in tights.
  • NWA would have never gotten off the ground if people knew Ice Cube ‘grew up with both parents’ and ‘they had a really good marriage’ … and they were UCLA professors!
  • I went to school with a G-Unit member who was as goofy as they come and his pops was my soccer coach! He’d be a laughing stock.
  • My personal favorite: even though Tupac came from a fractured family of revolutionaries -he got his plexiglass “Thug Life” aura in acting class as the Mouse King in the Nutcracker at the Baltimore School of the Arts. Fuck is that video?

George W Bush is really no different. If his electoral base really knew that the whole stumblefuck persona was an act and the Crawford Ranch (now up for sale) was a prop, he would never have had a “successful” career… And neither would your favorite actor rapper.

If I was Barack Obama:  I’ll just let him tell you.


~ by Chief Racka on February 18, 2009.

One Response to “George W Bush Would Have Made a Great Gangster Rapper”

  1. […] Black prez or white prez, is that shit ever acceptable? With all of GW Bush’s fuckups, real or contrived, I don’t think a cartoonist would have gotten away with publishing  a sketch of G-dub taking […]

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