Machine Gun Funk: Another Case for Legalized Marijuana


I was reading the internets this morning when I came across a story about some more wild shit going down at yet another Florida fast food restaurant. But instead of a customer calling the police about not being able to get McNuggets or not being able to get lemonade, this time the customer kills a motherfucker.

Yesterday afternoon, a customer with a concealed weapon license shot an armed robber at a Miami Burger King. The robber declared the stickup, the two exchanged words then they exchanged gunfire. The robber died at the scene and the customer was seriously injured. This robbery could have been avoided.

Yesterday, the Obama administration announced its plans to crack down on violence along the US/Mexican border -mostly for the purposes of stopping that shit from spilling over into the US.  This violence is all drug related. It’s Mexican drug cartels and their gangs fighting it out with other gangs and Mexican law enforcement.  Looking at our own disastrous War on Drugs, you can’t stop the demand for drugs. But until you do something, the killings won’t stop.

Crime in United States (aside from crimes of passion) is an economic condition. Without getting into long-term trending, during economic downturns, there’s usually an uptick in robberies and burglaries. With a prolonged recession, we’ll probably see more burglaries and robberies like yesterday’s failed Burger King robbery.

This CNN story says that 65 to 70% of the product the Mexican drug cartels are trying to push into the US is marijuana. And motherfuckers high on weed don’t commit crimes.

If marijuana was decriminalized in the US, the Drug Cartels’ reasons for killing motherfuckers dries up. Yeaaah, uh thanks Mehico.. we got our own. Their operations would probably shut down with their main money maker taken from them. Demand for cocaine and heroin would probably plummet since marijuana would be a legal alternative. Lou Dobbs wouldn’t know what to do with himself.
If marijuana was decriminalized in the US, the motherfuckers who are most likely to rob motherfuckers will be too high to rob motherfuckers… so long as they don’t rob the weed stores. It might be government sanctioned sedation of the masses, but people need to chill the fuck out anyway.  People would worry less about shit like the economy and would probably buy more random shit, spurring economic recovery. Decriminalizing marijuana only makes sense.

If I were Barack Obama, I’d say this:

“Look. Our problems are complex, but the solution is a lot simpler. I understand that people are nervous about the potential societal side effects of having legal marijuana accessible to the masses. But I also know firsthand that marijuana is not a dangerous drug and our laws for driving under the influence of marijuana will mirror those of alcohol. Seriously though. Uh, Look. Just take my word for it… this country will be a much better place. Oh and stay the fuck away from fast food joints in Miami.”


~ by Chief Racka on March 25, 2009.

One Response to “Machine Gun Funk: Another Case for Legalized Marijuana”

  1. […] He’s basically plagiarizes my argument for stopping violence in Mexico by legalizing marijuana. […]

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